May 15, 2011

The Three Of Us

The three of us
in our first official picture together

Sometimes it feels like this picture was just taken yesterday,
and sometimes it feels like this picture was taken a million years ago.
To be exact, it was 20 months and 3 weeks ago
{thank you BabyCenter for my weekly toddler updates...I don't even have a chance to forget my baby boy is growing up}

Let's cut to the chase.
I have baby fever.
I think I'm to the point where I can finally say, er...type, that out loud.
{which is a slight revolution, so be proud, even though it still sounds weird}
I'm pretty sure people have been asking me when we'd try for our next baby since Isaiah was about 2 minutes old.

Ok, maybe not, but you get the point.
As soon as we got married everyone asked when we wanted to have our first baby,
and as soon as we {well, technically I} popped the first baby out, people want to know about the second.
{hopefully people don't keep asking after the next one...I mean, I'm no Michelle Duggar}

I've always had this anxiety about having our second baby.
I could never imagine having that same overwhelming feeling of love like I had the moment I met Isaiah.
I couldn't picture how I would divide my time equally
or let each child know how much I love and adore them.
And I didn't think that was fair.

But all that is starting to change...
I can picture myself sharing my love
and my time
and my happiness
and my joy

with another amazing child.

Don't get me wrong, there's still plenty of anxiety to go around.
Where is everyone going to fit?
{our house is under 900 sq feet, but hey, people in New York City do it}
Would Isaiah adjust well to being a big brother?
Am I sane enough to raise two children?
Will hubby and I have any time together?
Can we even afford two children?

But I think the hardest thing to wrap my mind around,
is that it will never be
the three of us.

I love us.
And I think I'm scared that we won't be us anymore.

This is my absolute favorite Ben Harper song.
It's crazy how without any words it can sum up the way I feel.
It makes me feel calm...peaceful.
And for that, I am thankful


TerinAleah said...

New follower! :) Lee La La sent me! And I love that song!

Fallon said...

I know exactly all the feelings you are having. Its a definate change to going from an easy three person family to four. BUT, there is nothing in the world like the feeling of watching your "baby" love on his little sibling. At that point, i knew i had done right with my oldest, because he is the best, most caring, and loving big brother ever. It isnt always easy. I dont think i am sane enough for it, but you do it. Nick and i very rarely have a moment for eachother, (especially one that doesnt revolve around talking or thinking or worrying about the boys) and lastly, there is never enough money... but you do it. You make it all work out, and it will bring you that much more joy than you have now. Most importantly, it never takes away all the memories of when it was just the three of you, but it will make you wonder why you didnt have another one sooner! :) Good luck!
(also i was given an amazing tip on how to help the older brother adjust!)

Lopez Family said...

new follower! lee la la sent me...

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