June 1, 2011

Help Me To Sing Hallelujah

Lately, I feel like I'm going in a circle.
This huge, unproductive cycle of feeling jealousy and greed.

Those are two of the worst feelings I experience, yet I can't seem to keep them away.

Why do I compare what I have to what others have?
Is it important who has more, or better things?
What will we remember when we look back on our lives...
the things we had, or the loving people that filled it?

Obviously, the answer is B.
{well, at least I hope it is...kidding, kidding}

I let the thoughts of what should have been, or what could have been
consume me sometimes, and I hate that.
{It's one of those things about myself that I need to work on.}

To be specific,
hubby and I bought our first house together a few months before we got married in 2007
{I know, gasp!}
Like, literally, a few months after we bought ours, the price of homes dropped dramatically.

The house we bought is teeny
{858 square feet, to be exact}
and we never planned on being here for long,
let along having children here

Well, the funny thing is,
just when you think you have everything figured out,
something unexpected comes up.
Ours is named Isaiah :)

Anyway, now that we have a child
{and are thinking of the second one}
I get bitter when I think about the size of house we could have now.

Browsing houses online has become an addiction of mine,
like, seriously, I could probably be a real estate agent.
I check out every house for sale and almost cry when I see how much 'better' of a house we could have.

Seriously, we could have bought a bank owned mansion if we would have waited.
{keep in mind my house is under 900 sq ft...pretty much anything feels like a mansion to me}

At times I have to pull myself away from the computer because I get so upset.

And then I spend some time alone
{or talk to my mom}
and realize how out of line I am,
and I calm down.

Everything happens for a reason - I truly believe that.
Things work out the way they are meant to, even if we don't understand it at the time.

Instead of finding bitterness, jealousy and greed,
I wand to find happiness, contentment - hallelujah.

I should be thankful that we own a home
that we can afford it, and it's not being taken away from us.

Thankful that there is a roof over our head, period.
That's more than many can say, and they're probably happier about it than I am.

No matter what this life has in store for me,
I have to have faith that everything is part of His perfect plan,
More than I can understand.
More than I can comprehend.

So today, I'm thankful.

This is the beautiful chorus to a Bethany Dillion Song.
It's the new outlook I'd like to have.
Starting now.

Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
Help me to sing hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Whatever's in front of me
I'll choose to sing hallelujah

Today, I'm linking up to Casey's amazing blog:



Nicole Roe said...

thank you so much for posting this! it is an amazing reminder! its so ironic bc i heard it was super cute, tons of character, and you guys fixed it up yourself (oh and hardwood floors... something i'd die for) so funny how we all have different perspectives. =) you should be very proud of your comfy home ;) nicole

Natalia Lynn said...

OH I am so sure that you are not alone! My husband and I bought a timeshare right after we were married, 2007 as well. We had enough and paid it off within a year and then had some unexpected stuff with his job. I am embarressed to even talk about it because it bugs me so much. But, like you said, it all happens for a reason! Thanks for sharing!

Lauren said...

Oh my. I love this post. Girl, we did the same thing...bought a house at the height. Ours is just about 1100sq.ft., 2 bed, 1 bath. And it's over 50 years old, to boot. It was perfect for just the hubs and I. It's fine for us and little man, but add another kiddo, and it'll be tight. My house is tiny. I really do love it. But, I too, get jealous of other people's larger, less expensive homes. I try to remind myself, #1: Who cares? Can't take my house with me to Eternity; and #2: A bigger house is more to clean.

Love that tiny, less to clean house. You are awesome!

gin said...

You know what? I happen to be on the opposite end of your spectrum. We bought when house prices were super low and ended up getting a house that was entirely too big for us. Don't get me wrong; I love it and am grateful for it. But I find myself driving past the smaller and easier to maintain homes and thinking, hmmm. I do see what you're saying though. :) don't worry; what goes down must come up again right? Maybe not tomorrow or next month or next year; but eventually, prices will go back up.

Lindsay said...

Hang in there girly! This is totally NORMAL! You guys will get thru this :)

Mistakenly Misunderstood said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! But your right, things do happen for a reason. Maybe you were meant to be in that house at this time, so that maybe one day something you would never expect will be handed to you. It is understandable to need more room. It's hard having a family and doing everything you need to do. Thanks for being so positive! I really needed your positive reinforcement today!

Fallon said...

first, i LOVE bethany dillion. LOVE. Secondly, your house is so stinking adorable. i hate to admit it, but when i left your house, all i could think was... why did i buy a brand new house? i would have rather had one i could make my own. LOL. isnt it funny how different people think about things!

Jami said...

You are not alone in this struggle. I think many of us go through this. I have a similar situation with housing prices and bad timing. Our house is 1600 sq ft and since we've lived here we've had 4 kids. There was a time when I expressed to my hubby that our house was not big enough, we could never fit all of us and our stuff. What I've discovered is that I love having us all in a little house. It makes us closer. Everybody has to share a room, and they love it! And as far as storage... I've learned to purge ;) Try to remember God has you where you are for a reason. And thanks for the reminder. I can always use it!

Natalie @ NS Pottery said...

Love this! It's so easy to compare ourselves with others and to feel like we don't measure up, but we truly have SO much to be thankful for. Thanks for the reminder.

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